Simple thought

Which one is the worst?

Miss being loved by someone?

or

Miss someone?

Being a Leo, i would say miss being loved by someone is the worst feeling than you miss someone himself coz the feeling is absurb and abstract.

If you miss someone, you just go and meet them and whalaa... you will feel better. But if you miss being loved by someone, then it would be difficult to cure coz the feeling is beyond that missing feeling it self...

Or miss being loved is same thing as being loneliness?

It's not a simple thought ya, it's complicated one for me :) Or.. the thought is only a state of mind?

Mr. X vs Me

Mr. X : Muuaaahh
Me : Kiss kiss

Me : Hey u, how are you doin?
Mr. X : busy busy busy, I'm in BKK

Mr. X : I'm going to Russia to shoot next week
Me : Wow that's cool!

Mr. X : How are you?
Me : I'm okay, just got back from Bali.. Got tanned ;)
Mr. X : I wanna see!
Me : you will he he

Me : finished work in Vietnam?
Mr. X : TC today, in BKK. Haven't got chance to eat today
Mr. X : I will get skinny... :(

Me : Hey, don't get too skinny, i don't like it!
Mr. X : I won't
Mr. X : Got to go, chat more later
Mr. X : I'll show you the Vietnam work once it finished.

That was my last conversation with Mr. X and haven't got any more news after that, nothing special in this conversation tho....
But, somehow he always managed to update me on what ever he's up to, just like when he's thinking to move here, when he's done the final negotiation with apartment tenant and when he found a cool car to buy.

No expectation, just let it flows... Anyhow, he makes my life more colorful tho.. :)

David in Bali (7 - 9 July 2006)

We have a blast in Bali, but still not enough for me... I want to stay there longer, just relax, chilin' and laying on the beach get tanned and the most fun of all is no work at all.... Next time should stay longer, 1 full week would be great.... dreaming.....

Another thought

"You love someone with your heart & mind, not with your presence"

Hmm.. Is it enough only with heart & mind without presence at all? It's like you know deep down there you have someone that loves you very much, but what's the point of having that if we can not have the moment with them to cherish your love?

I believe, if you are brave enough to say that you love someone then you have to be ready for any circumstances & consequences, am i rite?

Which one would you choose, the love or the presence?

For me, love without presence is like having only 1 foot, and you need 2 foots to be able to walk properly. The combination of love and presence make everything perfect and on the right track. I want to have it all at the same time, his love and his presence is important for me.
Love is like a plant, you need to pour it with water & manure everyday in order to make it grows strong unles it will die, so does love.. you have to pour it with attention, caring and great moments together so your love will grow strongly.

I also believe that life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away, one of the moments that take our breath away could be one of the moments with our loved one :)

Alkohol yang berbicara....

Justifikasi yang paling sering di pake untuk mendefense kejadian-kejadian yang terjadi during and after clubbing, dan seolah-olah membenarkan whatever happened :)

Is it the alter ego Oom Jack Daniels or emang udah ada bakat untuk doing it? Tergantung orangnya masing-masing juga kali yaa.. But maybe emang bener kadar alkohol dalam darah jadi booster untuk bisa doing such thing, jadi lebih berani, lebih confident, lebih cuek juga sama lingkungan sekitar (toh yang lain juga ngga ada yang ngurusin, just mind ur own business lah ya) dan juga hati nurani yang udah di teken dalem-dalem sedalem2nya yang baru akan muncul lagi the other day :)

One night stand juga sering terjadi karena faktor yang ini, gairah memuncak dengan sendirinya apalagi pas ngeliat target yang pas, berani dan pede karena alkohol jadinya maju terus pantang mundur... One night stand just only for the sake of pemuasan nafsu sesaat yang di tunggangi oleh alkohol, then besokannya nyesel karena partner nggak as good as you see that night (duh penglihatan alkohol ngga bisa dipercaya banget deh). Or tiba-tiba besokannya ada yang telp bilang bla bla bla semalem kita kenalan dan tukeran no telp, tapi sumpah mampus kita nggak inget kejadian itu boro-boro mau inget orangnya yang mana he he

Intinya adalah self control and you have to know when to stop, better cuma tipsy aja jangan sampe drunk karena kita bisa menikmati keriaan sekitar dan juga masih punya kontrol... Tapi kalo sekedar tukeran no telp aja nggak papa seh, who knows ternyata dia adalah jodoh kita, toh jodoh bisa ada dimana aja dan kapan aja :)

Be ready....

You never know when it finally comes, you can not predict time, you can not predict place and you even can not predict on how it finally link to you...

Saw Rexona spot last nite, the message is to be ready for any circumstances coz it might come at the most unpredictable time. The girl is chasing her purse that lead her to a good looking guy, but since she's not apply the product she got sweat spot at her blouse right at the underarm spot ouch!.., It's nice tho.. and very insightful (at least for me)

One of my girlfriend always dress up nicely, make up properly never show of bad hair day no matter where we go, eventhough we're only hang out at friend's house. When i asked her why she always dress up nicely, do make up and hair do properly everytime we hang out, she gave me an answer that really strike me. She said, your soulmate can be everywhere and anywhere, you never know when he comes, he just there and i want to be ready for that moment..I don't want him to see me in a mess. Nice thought eh.. :)

So, here i am... trying to always look good everywhere i go, no matter if i have mood swing that day or i have no time to dress up or even have a bad hair day. Looks good not necessary have to do full make up tho, just put everything right together and still reflect your personality can be a well done job. Just feel good bout your self then i believe everyone will see that too. I do it not just because i want to be ready for that moment when eventually i meet my soulmate to be, i do it for my self coz i want to feel good bout my self more rather than i do it for someone else. Then if that moment finally come, it will be a plus point for me tho, don't you think so? ;)

So, girl... Be ready.. Dress up nicely, prepare your self for anything might happen to you today. No harm to look good for your self and for someone else :)

Apakah kalian bahagia?

Pertanyaan dari Ceceu Wenni di blognya...

Simple question benernya tapi kok sulit ya jawabnya... karena harus dipikirkan dengan seksama :)

Bener kita (cukup) bahagia dengan keadaan sekarang? Bahagia dengan semua achievement kita? Kita akan bahagia kalau udah bisa mencapai posisi tertentu dalam kerja? Kita akan bahagia kalau udah menemukan tambatan hati dan berumah tangga? Atau... Kita akan bahagia dengan kondisi-kondisi tertentu... Semua butuh pemikiran yang dalam untuk bisa menjawab dengan jujur :)

Apakah semua itu berhubungan dengan bertambahnya usia? Atau karena dengan bertambahnya usia mau nggak mau kita jadi berfikir lebih dalam lagi tentang hidup dan kehidupan?
Hari ini seorang teman berulang tahun yang ke 30, she wants to keep it silent dan satu kantor ngga ada yang tau (I got Ben & Jerry's ice cream to shut my mouth wuuhuu....) Walopun agak aneh and if i were her i would inform people to get prizes hehe....

Why she keep it silence? Karena dia ngerasa tua dan dia ngerasa kok idupnya gini-gini aja, gak ada achievement yang significant. Walopun dia udah bersuami tapi masih blum ada anak, masih tinggal sama ortu, karir juga ngga naik2... she doesn't feel passionate about her work but she also doesn't know things that make her passionate (confuse eh..).
She feels clueless bout her life...

Ternyata semua orang punya masalah yang similar, walopun nggak bisa dibilang sama.. Dan ternyata bersuami juga tidak menyelesaikan masalah, malah mungkin menimbulkan masalah baru (bagi yang bermasalah).... :)
She said I should be proud of my self karena karirku cukup bagus (alhamdulilah) and i'm passionate bout my job (well, i believe that you have to put your heart in whatever your job is, just love your work). Itu semua kasat mata yang keliatan, tapi who knows what's goin on underneath...

Apakah aku bahagia dengan semua itu?

Pertanyaan yang gampang tapi susah untuk dijawab :)

Lonely is a state of mind?

Have you ever feel soo lonely even though you are in the middle of the crowd?

I felt it and i don't like the feeling, it's really sucks. Tried to figure out why i felt this way, coz i shouldn't feel it. I have best friends around me, they can always put back the smile in my face, I have works that occupied my mind throughout the day, i have other activities like going to the gym and hang out with friends but somehow i still feel that deep down in my heart there's an empty space that longing to be fulfiled.

Does it because i simple bore with the routine of my life?
Does it because i live alone without my family? Yeah i missed them too
Does it because i don't have someone to share stories of what i've been doing today?
Does it because i just miss to have a boyfriend?
Does it because i simple need to be loved by someone?

Sometimes i don't feel like going home early after work coz i don't like the feeling when only find dark and empty room, sigh...

Sometimes i imagine that i would feel good falling asleep in someone's arm hugging me, and when i open my eyes he still there looking at me with his full of love's eye.. hmm.. i think i dream too much ya :)

Still don't know if lonely is only a state of my mind? or is it a real feeling? or i feel lonely coz i simple need to be love?

Whatever it is, I guess what i feel is still normal & human, as human being we do have certain needs that only can fulfil by certain person :)

My week end journey

My week end went well and fun, eventhough i have to work on Friday :(

Friday
Check in at Mulia Hotel as basecamp before go to Aimi's wed on Friday nite, quite awhile didn't do such thing, as the last time we check in at Hotel was for Aee's wed.. It become tradition in my inner circle to check in at Hotel once in a while, refreshing and dreaming become rich while enjoying the room hahaha...
Finally, managed to swim in the morning wu huuu... but i got tanned afterwards secara ya kulit gue itu gampang banget itemnya, sok pula renang jam 10 pagi :(.. well anyhow, someone eager to see it when i told him i got more tanned penghiburan diri deh ehm ehm... ;).. duh jadi gak sabar pengen tanggal 31 deh :D

Saturday
Went to Aee's place with Noni, Eko and Pitroy (free meals here we come...) afer check out, coz we don't have any where else to go and hang out there till evening before we got bored and tired of eating..yup, we stopped all the food stall that pass by her house hahaha....Planned to watch XMen 3 but again canceled coz we all tired, sleepy and too lazy to queue for the ticket :D

Go to Coffee Club Plaza Senayan to meet Asti & Prilla coz don't know what to do at home on Saturday nite (masa gue kalah set sama pembenti kost yang tiap malem minggu diapelin halahh), ketawa ketiwi dan tukeran gosip gak penting ttn kasus perusakan rumah seorang artis terkenal yang jadi istri kedua anak dari keluarga terpandang halaah sok rahasia banget ya padahal seluruh Indonesia juga tau siapa mereka hehehe...
Go home at 10 pm and sms new friend that i haven't met in person (we only do sms, chat and phone to communicate to each other), and finally i said yes to meet him :)... It's kinda a new thing for me cos i'm not good in meeting new people, don't know what to talk about, prefer SMS but since he insist oke lah let's meet to wider my circle and no harm meeting new people kan :D

Sunday
Finally we met at Coffee Bean Kemang on Sunday afternoon but as i told him earlier that am a shy girl, especially to new person that i barely knew, eventhough we talked intensively hehehe... But something bother me when he said that i should do medical check up the complete one ASAP, coz my body resistant is low that's why i'm easily to get cold and cough and take quite long to recovery :(.. hiks... i always afraid to go to Doctor especially to do the complete medical check up, afraid to know the unsure & maybe i got serious dissease that i don't know :((..
But he's such a nice guy, he buy me multivitamin (majority of his family member are Doctor so he knew trusted vitamin brand) and give me cough medicine, he's like a big brother to me hehehe, and thanks to him i finally list my self to do the medical check up on this wednesday :).. Duh mudah-mudahan gak ada penyakit serius ya...
One more thing that he said bothering me after he saw garis tanganku, he didn't see any marriage line gubrakkkk but he sees that i will live together with someone for along time but not married nah lohhh.... Anyway, jodoh mati dan rejeki ada di tangan Tuhan ya kita manusia hanya bisa merencanakan, what ever God's plan for me it's for the best.. I'm sure there is my other half somewhere out there waiting for me, and he might be "the one" for me, amien..And one thing i will always do is to keep on praying and trying till i finally found someone :)

Quite busy week end eh... Looking forward to next week end and wonder what would happen, hopefully good one as i expected :)

New beginning

New office, hmm.. new people, new challenge, new environtment, new clients, new payroll, also new life? Could be.. For me, yes it is.

How so? Dunno, since i started in this new office everything start to change for me.

1. Wake up hours: I have to wake up early, coz the office hour start at 8.30 am. Especially on Monday we have WIP meeting at 8.30 sharp, We have to pay Rp 50.000,- if we're late, so I will push my self to get up early no matter how hard it is coz i don't want to pay :D. We will use the money to buy J.Co yippiieee...... or any other food for the entire office :)). Other than that our boss always be the early bird, so we will manage to come before him, yah the latest at 9.15 still oke lah :)).
2. New clients: aghh client is client no matter which agency you are, they are still the same :)
3. Gym time: this has been affected by the early office hour, my exercise time was not as heavy as before :(. Couldn't afford to get up soo early so that i can go to the gym and manage to be at the office at 9 am (the latest). So the new gym time now is at night, this new arrangement kind affect to my body, hiks... I eat as usual but less exercise, well it's oke lah, as long as i still manage to exercise min 3x a weeks still fine lah. It's in my gene to have this sexy body :)) (gak papa dong muji diri sendiri)
4. New Friends: this is the best thing that happen along to this new office, there's a bunch of single guys here so we manage to go somewhere on saturday nite hehehe... Cool eh ;). Now i can enjoy saturday with the ganks, it's fun and single is fun too! (I've been telling that to my best friend as she turned out to be single recently, we can do anything we want, we can go to anywhere we want without asking for someone's permission, isn't it fun?). But i won't forget my old friend, it's just my circle is getting bigger now, i like that :)
5. New love? Maybe, but until now am just enjoying being single but i would gladly accept for new love :). Really hooked by someone's blog said that you don't have to chase love, the more u chase it the more it won't come to you, it will come to you when you didn't realize it.. But still open up for any good candidate hehehe..

So, don't be afraid of any changes, coz not all the changes are bad it could be something nice too, just like mine :)