Friday, August 15, 2008

Guess How Old I am

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed , the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you
tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says.

'I was behind you at McDonalds.'

13 comments:

treespotter said...

now, it's my turn. Guess how old I am on Tuesday?

PS: prep presents.

therry said...

LOL

Ouch... to Titik Puspa if she ever reads this!

Ecky said...

@ Tree: Uhm.. Can I touch you first before I guess how old are you?

@ Therry: If someone knows Titik Puspa, please pass this along to her :)

treespotter said...

feel free to touch me, anytime.

Still, get me present.

Lorraine said...

Ha...ha...very funny story. Titi Puspa? Is she still around? Can she still laugh normally without her face cracking?

Ecky said...

@ Tree: I'll get you present if only you get me present on Monday, how's that?

@ Lorraine: Yes, she still around, I forgot what show was she in but she can't laugh without looking weird :D

the writer said...

BRILLIANTLY FUNNY! hehehehe

silly said...

hahahahaha.. that was really2 funny.

OOT: about Titi puapa, my friend once told me a joke about her face lifting surgeon.

Oneday, after many times of face lifting operation, she found 2 black spot, each on both of her cheek, and she really got mad with that. She asked her doctor, "What the hell are they"

And the doctor said, "those are your nipples"

Ahkahakahkahahakhak... :P

woelank said...

I wish I could get back to the time where I could touch (ehem) to know woman age...
:D

Bill said...

I like this article and your site i just found it from another one that i visit. I will come back often. Take care.

Elyani said...

Happy Birthday Ecky, may you have a happy, healthy and successful life!

therry said...

I reckon Tree's in his late 30s :P

treespotter said...

therry, i'm 30 and today is my bday!