Friday, December 15, 2006


I feel much better now, after analyzed it over the night about the pro and cons, I wasn’t as mad as yesterday yeahh.. still have that feeling but try to minimize it though.

Yes, I am disappointed, yes I am sad, yes I am angry, yes I feel rejected, and yes I wish this isn’t happening to me.

Actually I got what I want though, it’s only last Tuesday I mentioned to my close friends that I miss multinational client, somehow they are different with local client (no offense my local clients J) and after my meeting at Surabaya I wanted it even more. And now I got my multinational client, blessing in this new arrangement. “Be careful with what you wish for”

My biggest disappointment is the unfair situation and the unfair arrangement. I expecting him to be the big guy for all of us, place we can count on to hang on but he disappointed me, badly. But there’s nothing I can do for subjective judgment though.

Should I hate whoever caused this situation? Does hate is the right word to describe my feeling? For now, I don’t know the answer.

I won’t act like a saint or an angel like nothing is wrong with this situation and I’m ok with it, I’m not gonna lie but somehow it will affect our friendship in the future, sadly to say. But I’m going to be the big person here, nothing personal let’s stick to professionalism and life goes on.

I’m only human after all, I have feelings, not always positive feeling though, I have my own frustration, my own thought about the situation. But since this is happening to me, what I could do is accepting this as part of the path that I have to go thru.

It sucks for sure, but then again acceptance is the keyword. What I can do is trying to get the best out of this situation.

Maybe God has another plans for me, and whatever it is, surely He knows what best for me :)

Thursday, December 14, 2006



This isn’t happening to me, Gosh please tell me that this is not happening to me…..

It finally happens, the day that I got the official news....

I am so fucking mad of the situation, I shouldn’t get this, and this is not fucking fair!!!!

Feels like i wanna punch someone!!!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

A theory that is Vato Theorem

I was there with this man and his buddy when they're talking bout this theory and gather all the facts, so i'm still part of it rite.. ;) They even planned to make movie and book about this theory and it's my obligation to publish it in my blog so it will get more exposure :)

You decide, whether he's nuts or maybe some of you will think it might be true but it is scary thing.....
For me, he's just being him :)

Interesting to read tho... enjoy....

Actually, this has been long time coming. Therefore this particular post will be quite long, so please bear with me or type another URLand move on with your day.

Some said that if you discover something, the sooner you publish itthe better. Otherwise, someone else will stake a claim to it first, and you'll end up cursing yourself for the "loss of potential gain" for the rest of your life. And now, with this thing called blogging, obviously anyone anywhere can publicly declare anything they want, anytime.Let's see whether this medium will stand the test of time and beour testament to where thoughts can be cast in stone, erm, pixels? It has arguably proven the founder of the ":)" symbol (first recordedback in 1982, with the solid proof defined in 2002), you know.

I should have posted this sometime in 2005 though. Procrastination got the better of me, as always.

Am I loony enough to predict that the human civilization as we know it shall end sometime in the year 4008 AD? Maybe I am. Forget 2012 AD declared by the Mayans, it is 4008 AD (Note to clients/employers: you're entitled to worry about this twisted side of me :D)

4008 AD, a simple number derived from loosely identifying patternin chaos, mostly from highly unpredictable sports statistics (to backthis sh*t up, am lucky enough to have a Biff Tannen-esque living sports almanac as a best friend). Indeed, am taking a huge risk with this theory, going against an opinion by Helen Joyce on the dangers of spotting patterns in random things

Why 4008 AD?

Because 2004 AD is what the Vato Theorem shall define as The Midpoint of Time. The year when everything comes full circle and curses/streaks are broken. Everything returned to where it allstarted. Few major examples from,

Summer Olympics returns to Athens, site of the first modern Summer Olympics in 1896

Boston Red Sox win the World Series for the first time since 1918, breaking the Curse of the Bambino

Detroit Pistons win NBA Finals, a rematch from 1989 when they also beat the Los Angeles Lakers for the title

New England Patriots win the Super Bowl again, after winning it for the first time in 2002

Greece beat host nation Portugal to win Euro 2004 with a 1 – 0 score, a rematch of the opening game of this tournament when they also beat Portugal with the exact same score


Michael Schumacher wins the last of his 7 F-1 titles in a row

Vijay Singh replaces Tiger Woods at the top of the world rankings,ending Woods' reign of five years and four weeks

In another note, 2004 AD was also the year a president named George Bush lead a nation at war.

Locally, Golkar returns to win General Election.

Coincidence, you say? Given this many examples, it's pretty doubtful. Why did all the above occurences pick 2004 AD as the moment for them to return to their original state? No other year in recorded history has this many "coincidences", I believe.

More examples to come, on this twisted prophecy. Hereby I boldly declare that year 2004 AD was arguably the peak of humanity, hence everything has been going downhill from that moment on ward. The growth of acceleration declining to zero, returning to innocence.

If am lucky enough to be cryogenically frozen sometime in the future (and this blog still exists, or in someone's back-up tape), will someone unfreeze me should we safely reach Jan 1st, 4009?


Whoaa aku dapet tugas dari Wenni dan Miund ini dia sekelumit tentang diriku... ini yang fact about me harus 7 ya gak bisa lebih? kayaknya banyak banget fact about me hehehe

7 Facts About Me
1. Seneng ketawa, seneng tidur, seneng makan
2. Sunda banget, segala dedaunan dimakan hihihi

3. Stubborn
4. Love being loved

5. Pengen bisa terbang kayak Superman jadi gampang kalo mau kemana2 ga kena macet haha
6. Jutek judes dan galak sama orang yang disuka dan gak berusaha nutupin
7. Sensitif dan sering banget nangis kalo nonton film (sstt don’t tell anyone ya)

7 Cita-cita
1. Menemukan Mr. Right dan menghabiskan sisa hidup bersamanya
2. Jadi orang yang selalu bahagia
3. Buka pastry shop or florist (duh kok nggak gw banget yak)
4. Ikutan Amazing Race, lemme know if anybody wanna be my team mate :D
5. Pengen kerja diluar negeri
6. Jadi penari latarnya Madonna or JLO gitu seru kali ya hahahaha
7. Dapet surga dunia dan akhirat, amien

7 Tempat yang pengen didatengin
1. Vienna
2. Greece
3. Ibiza

4. Maldives
5. Prague for some reasons ;)
6. Paris
7. South Carolina for some reasons too :)

7 Tempat enak buat makan
1. Rumah nyokap, top abisss dah
2. Sushi Tei (mana ada lagi tempat sushi enak dan murah)

3. Bugils (spaghetti tuna-nya gak ada duanya deh, sedappp)
4. Cazbar (must try mango squid saladnya)

5. Keyaki (warjep deket rumah gw, enak dan murah, sayang udah pindah ga tau kemana, ada yang tau ga mereka sekarang ada dimana????)
6. Dimana aja as long as sama orang yang aku sayang.. hmm...
7. Hu’u Bar.. suasannya romantis bangeeett yang di outdoor.. ahh jadi pengen kesana

7 Ucapan terimakasih
1. God the almighty atas segala rahmat dan rizki yang udah diberikan
2. My greatest mom
3. My grandma, without her surely i won’t be here rite ;)
4. My inner circle, thanks for always be there for me guys
5. Pecipta HP dan yang nemuin internet, life is soo easy coz of these 2 items
6. The wealthies yang punya club dan bar dan segala isinya (alcohol, chemical, weeds, hot men), hey we need to pamper ourself once in awhile rite ;)
7. To life.. yeah I’m so thankful of my life :)

7 orang yang harus ngerjain tugas ini juga...
1. Keke
2. Anita
3. Aryaaa
4. Farika
5. Wita
6. Adri
7. Sim

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Love is in the air

I just read this blog silverlines the last posting was about love, hmm… got me thinking when was the last time I feel that kind of mushy feeling.. it’s quite along time ago i guess :))

What is love actually?

Where is love?

Why we need love?

Never understand love.

But one thing I know, you can not choose whom you would be falling in love with.

So when you find love, take a good care of it coz love is like a plant, it also needs to be showered by caring, affection, loving and even jealousy so it will grow and grow and grow and grow, pray it wont die.

Friday, December 08, 2006


Ok, I have to admit it that the couple of days I had mood swing, I can suddenly pissed of by something small and I know I shouldn’t be like that, but I can’t help it. It’s my hormones talking by it self, or maybe it’s my alter ego who’s talking.

My 1st victim was my colleague, we’re close friends actually and being 24 y.o girl I can not blame her that sometimes she’s just too na├»ve. This morning she popped silly question about email I sent to people in the office, well maybe she doesn’t mean to be silly but somehow my take out is silly, and I response her with sharp word.

My 2nd victim was my ex colleague, actually she already experienced my sharp and bitter words from last night when we were talked on MSN. She has this urgent need that she needs to fulfill, but since she’s single she has difficulty in finding a way to fulfill it. She got this option but she didn’t take it, and instead of explore other possibility she’s just whining about it. For God sake, just do something, find a way or just don’t do it at all and stop whining! Gosh…..
Today, she’s complaining about her weight, she thinks she’s gained weight, of course you are my dear, you eat a lot and never go to the gym. Stop complaining and move your ass to the gym!

Ok ok, maybe I’m too much, but being me, if I want something I just do it. Let say, I want to lose another weight I just do diet and work out hard, I don’t whine or complain to everybody. I just do it.

Stop complaining, stop whining, make up your mind, don’t only talk, and just do it! For God sake!!!!!! Gosh, I couldn’t stand of inconsistent people

Maybe this is the dark side of me, apart of being nice and always listen to my friends I also have capacity to snap at things, especially to someone that couldn’t make up their mind. I’m not always understanding, caring and compromising things, sometimes I just being bitter, selfish and dark. Or maybe because I am a Leo? A tough Leo. Or maybe because I’m having PMS?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Blog = party?

I just wanna say that having a blog is the same thing as you’re having a party. How many readers/ visitors of your blog can represent how many people would come to your party. The party it self and the theme should attract people to stay long at your party, same thing as your blog. We have to keep writing the exciting stories so that people would come over, visit and read our blog, and the good thing is when they come back to our blog and become regular visitors.

Me, my self have fave blogs that I always visit every time I have time to read, just wanna catch up with them coz apparently their blog belongs to my friends hehehe… and from their blog somehow I can understand more about them and know what’s going on around them. So I will always keep update with their life.

But for me, the 1st reason I start this blog is so I have medium to write about everything, my feelings, my fears, my life, my friends and even write about nonsense hahahaha… never thought that I can write and love to write until I start this blog… as Wenni once says “menulis bagus untuk kesehatan jiwa” and I can not agree more with her. But I have to admit it that this blog is one of the right mediums to fulfill my narcissism hehehe

So, how’s my party doing? Am I going to have a big blast party or an empty one?

You decide my friends, who ever read this blog :)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Support your local DJ wannabe!

Ok, this post and the previous one was not originaly mine hehe... I just wanna support this special man (you can see his link at my friend's list) :p

Pick his track list, see it at "My Track List for M*zzotunes Indika FM" (posted previosly), and ssstt... the prize will be given to advertising gathering. So, pick his track list folks...... and support your local DJ wannabe!
There, made my word to help you :p

Well, what do you know. Yours truly will be featured on the FIRST episode of M*zzotunes on Indika FM, with the killer track list as previously posted here before.

Actually, I tried to squirm my way out of having to "race" (or "fly") first, but Indika FM has been kind enough to provide me with 4 of the tracks which I have yet to possess. Yes, you're supposed to own the audio file for each and every one of those tracks you had listed, to qualify. But then again, I do have them, unfortunately am unsure about their reproduction quality. Hence, that is very cool of them Indika indeed.

Nevertheless, tune to Indika 91.60 FM this Wednesday, Dec 6th 2006, from 9 p.m., and express your support to the local DJ wannabe!

Monday, December 04, 2006

My Track List for M*zzotunes Indika FM

01 Dust in The Wind - Gabriel & Dresden
02 Love Comes Again - Tiesto
03 Everytime - Lustral
04 Doctor Pressure - Mylo Vs. Miami Sound Machine
05 My Lexicon - Sander Kleinenberg
06 Heaven Scent - John Digweed
07 Janeiro - Solid Sessions
08 Seven Cities - Solarstone
09 Silence - Delerium
10 I Feel You - Schiller mit Heppner

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

What if.....

Have you ever thought of that question? "What if……..

Would my life be different if I didn’t do that?

Saw “Out of sight” last nite, I love the quote that George Clooney said to J.Lo “what if you walk on the street and pass by someone and you look at them for 5 seconds and you know that you have known her/him somewhere, but you didn’t say anything and the moment has gone away, when you realize they’ve gone you can not stop think about it, and you wish you say something coz you know that it somehow wouldn’t happen again, maybe only happen once in your life.."

And you wondering what would happen if you say something that moment…. What if…

If that moment has gone, there’s nothing you can do.. you can not turn back the time, what you can do is just live your life best you can do, and follow where faith takes you to.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Golden Child

In every company I work there always been such a title of a golden child, interesting how the title can come up. What should we do to get that title? Should we kiss ass our bosses or what?

Such an interesting question eh :)

Personally I don’t care with that kind of title or term or whatever you wanna call it lah, I believe everybody has their own strength and weakness, and if their strength can make them become the golden child then be it. I’m type of person who just work for the best, don’t care with such title.

But what if the existence of this golden child ruins the settle situation?
Especially if this golden child has ruined the plan that supposed to be mine, it’s settled until this golden child has a request and the big boss is willing to take the hustle to grant this golden child’s request.

Who’s to blame in this kind of situation? The boss who are willing to do anything for the golden child, or should we blame the golden child himself/herself, as she/he knows how to use the privileges?

I know life is not always be as what we want, life is full of shit and other stuff but when it comes to you to experience it, then it sucks.

What should I do? What can I do? Is there really a thing that I can do? Or I just have to accept it the way it is?

There’s always an option for that situation, take it or leave it, as simple as that. Let’s just see how things will work around here…

Monday, November 20, 2006

Being single vs being in a relationship

I got this topic from someone's blog, and it's quite attracted me in some way :)

The grass in neighbor’s garden is always greener right? It seems that whenever you are in a relationship you say that you feel sorry for single people while under your breathe you say, "I wish." Single people seem to have all this freedom yet, suffer from being lonely all of the time. Or if you are single, then you will longing to have someone to share to and wish that you’re in the relationship now.
What’s the deal? Which is better? Well, you tell me.

These are things most people do it if they are in a relationship or not. The question is, who enjoys it the most?
1. Going to Bars
(a) When you are single: You are free to flirt with the opposite sex. There are no eyes on you that will make you feel guilty about what you are doing and who you are talking too. You can dress anyway you want, you can talk to anyone you want. And if you get really wasted? There is no one for you to fight with. And if you get laid that night, it could be that fun and exciting, "I have no idea who the fuck this is kind of sex."
(b) When you are in a relationship: You always have someone to dance with, drink with, and talk too.You are almost guaranteed sex that night. You know where you are going at the end of the night and there is always someone there to take care of you when you are done.

2. Watching TV or Movies
(a) When you are single: You don't fight over the remote control. You don't have to watch sports if you are a girl or American Idol if you are a guy. Men don't have to be burdened with chick flicks and women don't get stuck watching action movies.
(b) When you are in a relationship: You have someone to snuggle with. You can laugh together, and talk about the movie or show with someone. You may even see a movie that you loved that you might have never taken a second glance at if you weren't with someone.

3. Sleeping
(a) When you are single: You get the whole fucking bed to yourself. No one snoring, hogging the covers, or doing the unnecessary over cuddle strangling you from getting a good nights sleep. You wake up when you wake up, and you go to bed when you want to go to bed.
(b) When you are in a relationship: You can cuddle. You feel the security of someone else in your bed. You have someone there to get you water, or scratch you back. And lets not forget the spoon and grind when you first wake up in the morning.

4. Shopping
(a) When you are single: You go to your stores. You go for as long or as short as you want to. You try on whatever you want and you don't have someone second guessing your decision or more importantly, how much you are spending
(b) When you are in a relationship: You have someone to keep you company. You have someone to bounce ideas off of. You can make sure that your significant other doesn't buy stuff that makes them look stupid, and you might have someone there to help you keep your spending in check.

5. Sex
(a) When you are single: Each time is like the first time. You are being touched, kissed, and banged in a different way every time. Its new, its exciting, and you don't have to deal with all of the emotional baggage that comes with being with
(b) When you are in a relationship: This is your person. They know you and your body. You don't have to worry about who they have been with, how to please them, or if they are going to be there in the morning.

It doesn't matter if you are single or with someone. There are undeniable advantages in certain situations where being one is better than the other.
So my question to you is this. 1-5 what would you rather be in that circumstance and why?

Friday, November 10, 2006

What were you thinking???

People make mistake, although He is the best surgeon (Dr. Burke) in the best hospital in Seattle made one mistake in his brilliant career. Too much watched Grey’s Anatomy last nite hehe, I love that show.. It’s f…g brilliant (oops pardon my language), yeah you would say it’s only a movie for God sake….

Do you wanna know what mistake made by Dr. Burke? He left a towel in someone’s lung after he did surgery and they just found out about it 5 years later. His mistake was threatening someone’s life but he admitted and accepts his mistake and he’s only human who can make mistake.

We are only human who can make mistake sometimes, people screwed and fucked up sometimes, we aren’t God after all, We can’t always be perfect all the time, and human being entitle human error too.
Is that an excuse or what?
No, I’m not trying to say any excuses or what.. I’m just saying that it’s ok to make mistake so that you can learn from the mistake and try not to do it again. I believe we are smart enough to learn from the mistakes. Put it behind you but don’t forget it, always remember your big mistakes so that you will be a better person and self-improvement is the most important thing that you can get from your mistakes.

Is there any logic explanation for the mistakes you made? Guess, it’s up to you to figure out the answer….

Just don’t look back, learn from your mistake, keep walking forward and make tomorrow as a better day than today.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Put your heart into work

Should we do that? Or should we just work for the money?

If we put our heart into work and would we get? Does the company will love us back or they will just treat us like another pion and squeeze us to get the best of us, and won’t care what we feel and think.

So, will it be the best choice if we work only for the money?

Can someone tell me, what is the best attitude towards work....

Monday, November 06, 2006

Be happy

I was laughing when friend of mine said that his goal in life beside become a marketing director (at least) and have a nice villa in Asia for retire, is just be happy.

I was thinking that is such a simple and easy goal, but when I’m thinking thru it, apparently it is not as simple and easy as I thought. You have to be honest with your self to be able to say that you’re happy; of course you might say you’re happy but are you really happy deep down inside?

I believe happy is a deep feeling that every human being is longing to have. Happy means acceptance of what you have and what you got in life, not complaining or whining or envy with someone else’s life.

Are you happy with your work?
Are you happy with your family?
Are you happy with where you live now?
Are you happy with your car?
Are you happy with your current saving?
Are you happy with your friends?
Are you happy with your life partner?
Are you happy with your love life?
And the most important thing is, are you happy with your life?

Does being rich and famous can make you happy? Coz I know that money can’t buy happiness, many celebrities have problems with their life.
Does being pretty and handsome can make you happy? Referring to many people who are willing to do plastic surgery to make them prettier not to mentioned that Prince Charles choose Camilla Parker instead of beautiful Lady Di.
Does being God damn brilliant like Einstein can make you happy?
Does being soo skinny and slim can make you happy?
Does being fit and healthy can make you happy?
Does being big can make you happy? Some say big is beautiful
Does become Mrs. Tom Cruise can make you happy? Katie Holmes doesn’t look as bright as she used to be
Does become a mother of Brad Pitt’s daughter can make you happy?
Does become Jenifer Aniston’s latest boyfriend can make you happy?

What makes you happy with your life?

Be happy is not impossible thing to achieve, but I’m sure just be happy is also not an easy goal to achieve.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Dream place to go, I have to go there someday somehow...

Greece.. I'm comin.....

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Mencintai atau dicintai?

Kalau boleh memilih mungkin kita akan memilih untuk mendapatkan partner yang compatible dalam hal mencintai kita, artinya cinta kita dan dia sama besarnya tidak ada yang lebih besar atau lebih kecil. Manusia memang selalu punya rencana tapi Tuhan jua lah yang menentukan apakah rencana kita bisa terlaksana atau tidak.

Friend of mine has situation that she has to choose between mencintai dan dicintai, she's looking for the answer by asking God which one she should choose, but then she said God didn't give any answer. I said to her, maybe God gave you hints but you ignore all those hints as you have your own will for that.

Just follow what your heart says, we are only the outsider, you're the one who will live your life. Trust your judgement, but if your judgement was wrong then you have to take any consequenses of your choice. Whatever happens, i'm sure it will make you stronger than ever in facing the future.

If you have to choose, what would u choose, mencintai atau dicintai?

2nd day at work

Holiday mood still in the air, eventhough most of us didn't go to real holiday, we just spent time at home taking care of the house as the maid still in their home town... Yeah, it's their annual leave i guess, they are human too who need to take a break just like us :)

It's really hard to make ourself enthusiastic to work, but hey we need to work so that we can pay the bill rite?

Jakarta still empty not like used to be, but i bet 2moro will be crowded as usual maybe even more as always happen after mudik the new comer will be more.

Since our boss hasn't come yet, so let's have lunch at Bandar Jakarta Ancol..... yahhhooooo...

Monday, October 30, 2006


I’m exhausted about what’s goin on surround me, my friends, my family, work, trying to find the answer of my life, looking for love and the most exhausting thing is trying hard to hate you.

But I just couldn’t do it. Dunno why…

I don’t wanna feel exhausted anymore…

Curiosity kills the cat

That line is so true; sometimes we want to know everything about everyone. And when we find out the truth, we get hard time to accept it.

I always have curiosity bout what’s goin on among my friends, it’s shows that I care about them. But what I about to find out is something that make me feel disappointed, sad and left behind. We’ve been friends for almost 10 years, but then I realize you don’t know your friends eventhough you think you know them well. Maybe time is not the answer, maybe I’m the only one who think that we are that close, maybe….

Learnt my lessons, just stop asking, stop wanna know, stop looking for the answer, stop wanna be included in everything.

Just wondering why….

Monday, October 16, 2006

Gossip is just gossip

I admit it that I love to hear or read or watch gossip about my fave celebrities, coz i don't know them personally and the gossip make me closer to them, make me know their latest update.

But, when you heard gossip about your self then it is suck!

Yeah.. heard rumor bout me out there, have been 2 ppl come to me for confirmation. Gosh, why can't people just leave me alone. I thought i've passed that phase since i'm no longer with him. I know many gossips bout me when i was still with him, i accept that as consequences of my decision being with him.

I'm single now, but why people still talking bout me?

That's so funny, cos my personal live is completely my privacy. Whom i date, which nationality of the man, or my new hang out place are purely my decision. As long as i don't do damage to others, i'm free to do anything i want. This is my life, i know every consequences of my decision, and believe me i've learnt from my experience :)

Well, i guess i have to take the bright side instead of whining and complaining about it. People love me that much so that they won't leave me alone, they always wanna know update of my life, or maybe i do my own gossip show :))

Hell with them, i know my self and i don't have to prove anything to anybody. My inner circle who love me and i love knows bout real me and their judgement is the only matter for me.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Poni Prima

Nama penyakit baru kah?
Nama cafe baru ya?
Nama butik baru kah?
Nama agency baru?
Sejenis makanan yang lagi ngetrend sekarang?
Nama pacar barunya si anu ya?
Nama selingkuhannya si itu ya?

Bukan bukan, semua salah... Poni Prima adalah salah satu kondisi yang lagi trend sekarang ini dikalangan anak muda jakarta (khususnya perempuan) yang mempunyai potongan rambut berponi.. Seperti saya dan Ceceu Wenni contohnya.

Kenapa sih si Poni Prima ini jadi trend? Ini ada hubungannya dengan bulan puasa yang sekarang kita lagi jalanin, puasa kalau tidak sholat adalah percuma hukumnya alias kita cuma dapet laper dan haus tanpa dapet pahala..

So, selama menjalankan puasa ini kita berusaha untuk menjalankan sholat 5 waktu (I know i know we should do it everyday not only in fasting month.. but..), nah alhasil poni yang udah sangat prima karena udah diset sedemikian rupa tadi pagi harus rusak karena kita pakai mukena.. Bukan bukan kita mau protes.. tapi kita lagi nyari akal gimana caranya untuk tetap mendapatkan poni prima for the rest of the day.

Salah satu yang dijalankan Ceceu Wenni dan teman-teman di M8 sangat tepat, yaitu menyiapkan roll rambut di kantor, gunanya ya untuk mendapatkan si poni prima itu tadi.. Jadi mereka selalu memakai roll rambut itu di kantor kecuali pas sholat (ya nggak bisa kali ya pake mukena kalo ada rollnya gitu hihihi), salah satu antisipasi yang patut diancungi jempol.

Kalau saya mungkin lebih simple, cukup dengan bediri depan cermin besar yang ada di kantor dan menset si poni biar tetap prima walopun abis kena air dan ketekuk karena mukena. Voilaa... Si Poni Prima lagi loh... alhamdulilah

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Another chapter of my life

I meet new people in my space, ok you can call me shallow or what ever, it always interesting meet new people and somehow these new people has given me something to hold on to.

Talked to 22 y.o Jack from California, he doesn't believe in me that i'm single... yep.. as far i recall I am still single and maybe i'm a bit skeptic about love at the moment hehe...
He told me about this good book that i should read called "The Road Less Traveled". It's about love, about its independence and how its not a dependent.

I told him about my previous relationship and he said that the man i dated before was not the best chapter in my life but he was only the best character in that chapter of my live, my living, my story. There will be many more chapter and character in my life to look forward to, people come and go but those who stay are the important ones. I have to agree with that coz after i think over about that, i guess he had a valid point.

I kinda amazed that 22 year old can say something like that, but for sure he gave me more strength to stand up on my own and for sure now i look at my life in different perspective. Meeting this new people is another chapter of my life and i am grateful for that.

Thanks buddy :)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

9 ways to meet a man

  1. Don't develop hard-and-fast rules
  2. Be unashamedly proactive and methodical
  3. If you are going to a party, bar or event, don't travel in huge wolf packs of women
  4. Avoid being to glam. Other tip: Consider wearing something that could be a conversation-starter, like a t-shirt with something funny written on it or a faux-fur vest that a guy may ask to touch
  5. Have a drink in your hand. Tip: Don't stand around empty handed. If you are holding a drink, a guy won't feel he has to immediately buy one for you. But then later, if things are going well, ordering you a refill gives him something positive to do.
  6. Do not be too coy
  7. When there's an adorable guy suddenly in your path, don't be so worried about saying the perfect thing that you end up saying nothing at all.
  8. Be positive
  9. Really hear what he has to say

Lessons from the love doctors

The Show: House
The Lesson: Hold out for someone emotionally available

The Show: Grey's Anatomy
The Lesson: Resolve your ex issues before moving on

The Show: ER
The Lesson: Don't give up on your soul mate

The Show: Scrubs
The Lesson: Being jealous doesn't equal being in love

The Show: General Hospital
The Lesson: Never change who you are for a love interest.

5 questions to ask on a date

  1. What's your favorite scene from your favorite book or movie?
  2. What do you love about your job?
  3. What's your definition of relationship?
  4. If money were no object, what would you do with your life?
  5. Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you’ll gain valuable insights onto your date—and know whether the two of you are likely to click on future get-togethers.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Dating rules

1) On the 1st date, let the man pay for you (breakfast, lunch or dinner)
2) Don't talk about your past relationship
3) Don't talk about your ex BF or GF
4) Don't get too much drink (alcohol), you don't want to give bad impression on the 1st date will u.
5) Don't make any silly comments about surounding
6) Make an eye contact during conversation
7) If you don't like him, order food that cook fast so u don't have to wait for long
8) Try to seduce him (if you like him) abit, not too much. Play with ur hair could be works.
9) Update news before you go, so you can have wide topic of conversation
10) Talk about light topic, what's your interest, what's ur fave books, movies, musician and etc. Talked about your dream house and how many children do u want in the future might scared him to death.
11) Let him see the fun of you by throwing some jokes (good one!)
12) Don't be Miss. Complaint of the year. Guys hate whining gurls, they don't have to see it from the beggining rite ;)
13) It's ok for a kiss on the 1st date
14) If you go to the zoo or shopping, let him drive the cart, let him leading, let him decide for you.
15) Don't be too dominant in everything
16) You don't have to take in charge for everything, show some weakness is fine, guys love that.
17) Set for 2nd date if everything went rite, it's ok if you ask him
18) NO SEX on the 1st date!!!
19) Just be yourself, let him sees the real you
20) Give him a clue so that he knows that you're having a great time

Good luck gurls....

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Life isn't all ha ha hee hee

Above line is so true, taken from drama series made by BBC aired in Star World past 3 sunday.

There are 3 girls who become best friends since they were a little girl: Shaila, Tania & Sunita.
Shaila naive and sweet girl that just got married with Deepak (she thinks she loves him), Tania succsessful carreer woman works in BBC and direct her own show, Sunita housewife with 2 children work as administration/secretary, her hubby is a therapist.

Shaila, she always been a sweet and ordinary girl, she likes to cook and do things around the house just like an ordinary housewife and stay home mom. She has to accept the reality that her husband has an affair with her best friend (Tania). She knows from the 1st time they were kissed, but she keep it her self, she don't want to confront him coz she couldn't afford to live alone as she has no personal income.

Sunita, she has low self esteem coz her hubby always under estimate her in every way. Her hubby never thinks that she has real job, he never appreciate her for everything she do. She'll feel better after she slice her upper hand as the compensation. She finds her "love" in Shaila's doctor, young man that appreciate and respect her.

Tania, succesful carreer woman but she has problem with her family coz her BF isn't Indian and she left home to pursue her carreer instead of becoming ordinary housewife as common thing for Indian women. She's the one introducing Shaila to Deepak, but eventually they realize they have love to one another. She starts to sleep with Deepak without knowing that Shaila is pregnant.

They are not pretending to be strong in front of the others, they put honest feeling about their life. How Tania is feeling so guilty knowing that Shaila has to rush to hospital while she sleeps with Deepak, and she's appologize to Shaila of what she's been doing behind her back and start to be her best friend as before. How Sunita's hubby knows about her bad habit and how he's trying to get her back. How Shaila finally realize that she doesn't love Deepak, she just love the idea of having a husband and great wedding ceremony, and she accepts the fact that Tania & Deepak love each other.

Tania learnt from her mistakes that she has broke her best friend's heart and do anything to make it up with Shaila, and she go back to her family as her root. She realize, she's nothing with out her best friend and her family by her side.

Sunita finally can express her feeling to her hubby and share her feeling with him. She choose to work on her marriage and to overcome her secret habit.

Shaila never think that she could live by her own foot, but she did it. She filed for divorce and she start to become single parent for her baby boy. She forgives Tania & Deepak and she let Deepak be a good father by letting him do his responsibility.

They could overcome their own problem with stick together as a friends, coz real friendship could not be taken away by anything.

Such a good movie, don't u think so? I love it!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Friends: new friends, old friends, good friends

Inspired by Farika's writing (tuh Friks aku tulis nama kamu hihi) about old & new friends.

I can proudly say that i have many friends as long as i live, beside the fact that i'm a loveable person (hehe) also the fact that i have live in 3 different cities. Yes, i was born in Jakarta, then move to Tangerang until i was in 1st grade of senior high school, then move to Tasikmalaya when my dad passed away and back to Jakarta for college until now.

When i was in Tangerang, i have 2 friends (Diki & Devi) that always go to school (from kindergarten and elementary school) together by Becak back then, they are siblings that live next to my house. We are so close until the day we went to different junior high school.

And then when i was in junior high school i become member of a cool gank (yes girls gank, such a trend back then), they are Heni, Nena, and Annie. We always go together and we even support each other when we have 1st crush on boy. And again we become separate when we went to different senior high school, new friends, new environment, new activities, new excitement has slowly break us apart eventhough i went to the same school with Heni.

In senior high school i have new gank with Adjie, Evan, Esti, Elni & Ria. We were at the same class back then and i was head of the class. Adjie & Evan are sit together, Esti & Elni together and me & Ria together, we are such a perfect combination. We are so click, we always hang out together even during the weekend. If there is boy who approaches one of us, they have to get Adjie & Evan's approval vice versa with them. And then i have Evi, Reni, Ani, Riris, Rika, Sugih, Dewi as my new gank when i was in Tasik.

College was different story, as i have to move to Jakarta for college. My new friends are Aee (still in touch until now), Esther (she's in Hawaii now), Ria & Icha. And now i have Noni & Eko, Febi, Pitroy, Aimi & Bang Oji, Bamby, Sam, Egi, Evi & Devim, Sam & Yuli, Melly they all are Aee's friends from junior high school. What a big circle ya...

I met Febi when i start working at Bates, Febi is Aee's friends from junior high school. I also met Fanny & Dina, we become inseparable, we always go clubbing together, yes we have something in common :). I also met Iin, Ncus, Farce, Grace, Lee-a, Cinta, Lupi, Deli, Truli at Bates newer era. Until today we manage to hang out together once in a while to update about our live.

I would say that McCann was my great era, coz i met so many friends there. Dini, Keke, Farika, Sisi, Miranda, Sanny, Telly, Sari, Mia, Gaby, Joyce, Lilian to name a few. They gave new color to my life, coz from these girls i can understand more about life and married life of course he he he

FCBers are so crazy, they are "banci tampil", they always do creative pose for photography. Laugh and bitterness colide and become the glue that make us together. I met Wenni when i was working at FCB, she was my client who apparently become gosip friend, late night SMS friend :)...
Friendship after profesionalism is to explain my relationship with her.

Thanks to Asti, now i have new circle of friends: Anita, Melly, Prila & Dinar. With these new circle i have widen the opportunity to meet new people as Anita & Prila are not agency's people, it's good to go out side of agency's environtment sometimes hehehe...

I wouldn't categorized them in certain groups. I wouldn't say my friends from kindergarten to senior high school as my old friends, and my friends from college to FCBers as my new friends. I would say they all are my friends and they all good friends of mine.

With them, i have been thru so many things and thanks to them i can be here at the moment and somehow they have helped me to be who i am now.

I love you all...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Work work work

Why do we have to work?
- For the money
- For pleasure
- For idealism
- For the sake of having activity in daily life
- For networking
- For socializing
- For make our parents proud of us
- Just the next step after graduation
- For self identity
- For free internet connection
- For free insurance

What ever your reason is, just love what you do....

I love what i do and feel passionate about it, hopefuly then the money will come hehehe... amien..

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Love comes again

I found my new love! I feel so alive, finally i can have this passionate feeling again, thought i've lost it.

Had a chance to see him in person last Sunday, he's soo damn hot! He made me imagine things. I love everything about him, the way he moves, the way he dances amused me. And his voice... oh his voice is sooooo sexy....

Gosh, i wish i can feel him in my arm so i can touch him gently. Never had this kind of feeling before for someone like him, those kind of people are never become my interest, but he's different.

Don't know when can i see him again, should i chase him? Oh well, it's kinda too much ya, i'm happy enough just to see his picture (yes, my computer wallpaper is his pic, so damn cute!)

I love you, JD Fortune!

Shallow me? Maybe I am, call me whatever do you want to... it's free country man... I just love this hottie!

Well, at least i still have that feeling, eventhough for celebrity like him he he he

Jomblo akut

New trend among mature females who live in big city like Jakarta. Why do i say new trend? Yes because i have many yes many female friends who are single, or jomblo. Hmm.. Jomblo sounds more fun than single ya :)

Does being jomblo is a choice? or given situation that you want to change, but hardly can?

My best friend said she can not live without man, so she prefer to play game with 2 men at the same time eventhough her boyfriends (yep, boyfriends - with s) can not give assurance she needs rather than being alone or jomblo.

My other friend hasn't have any romantic relationship since her last BF at 1997, wow.. what a record... She's whining about wanting a BF so deeply, she doesn't ask for such a high standard tho, she just simply wants BF who loves her at any stake. She's kinda a homey girl, she loves being at home with her parents or her DVDs (yes, she has 1 special made cupboard for her DVDs). Sometimes, i thought that's why she hasn't find any BF yet, because she seldom go out or when she goes out not for long as her parents will call her and ask her not to come home late. Maybe she needs to go out often so that she can meet new people rather than stay at home all the time, maybe..

But, i have other friend that quite an outgoing gal. You can easily find her at new place/club/resto or any party in town, you can say she's a party animal and always update at any trend but she's still single or jomblo at the moment. Her last BF was 2 years ago, believe it or not she even ask me to hunt man for her at my building hahaha crazy girl...

Hmm.. 2 different situation, but same result: JOMBLO AKUT!

What's wrong with them? Nothing wrong, they are beautiful and independent women or maybe they are too independent? Maybe... And how come they are still single?

Another story, friend of a friend told me that her friend is such a beautiful person, funny, kind, success and graduated from Esmod Paris (yes Paris!) but her dream man choose small city nurse over her. She can't understand why he did that, or maybe he's being intimidating by her so he choose regular girl? Maybe... That was my thought tho.

Nothing wrong of being jomblo tho, we can go anywhere and anytime we want, we can do anything we want, we can go out with 1st cute guy we meet at the club without any objection or even cause a fight with our BF. But, it nice to have someone to share your feeling, your deepest secrets, your dreams and your passion.

We could analyze everthing we want, but i believe if the time is not rite then no matter how hard you try to find a BF, it just won't work :). Love is like a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it will fly away from you, but when you let it go it will come to you even when you're not expecting it (taken from SIM F blog )

My friend told me today just to enjoy the situation of being jomblo, yes.. enjoy it while you can, there will be time when you gonna miss it while you're in the relationship.

Friday, August 11, 2006


Mama thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times
I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love,You sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed
along the way

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
I miss you, I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrongDry your eyes

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed
Along the way
And I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

A beautiful song by Il Divo

I love you Mom...


Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you and the roses

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control
My mind drifts away, we only have today

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way
I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

When the veils are gone as I let you go, as I let you go

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest

Oh i love J.D Fortune when he sings this song, soooo sexy.....

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tipe cowok

Pertanyaan yang paling susah dijawab adalah tipe cowok yang disuka kayak gmana sih? Hmm... bingung banget nih jawabnya, karena kalo di track back dari yang udah-udah kok nggak ada benang merahnya ya, even di fisik dan diluar fisik nah loh... Apa emang bener gw suka variety? But variety is good tho, biar kita nggak bosen hehehe

Friend of mine suka cowo yang chubby n rada ndut, enak buat senderan dan di peluk katanya. Yang lain justru nggak suka cowo berkulit gelap, nggak asik ah kesannya dekil kalo terang alias putih kan kinclong dan lagi biar anak gw nggak item lagi itu alasan dia hihihi... Ada lagi anak kantor yang suka cewe Ori (Oriental or oriental look lah at least), kalo diliat dari track recordnya sih emang bener, smua cewe yang pernah dipacarin or deket or cem-ceman or what ever lah itu semuanya ori atau looks like ori, konsisten anaknya nih hihihi.
Ada lagi yang suka cowo anak kantoran, lah ini lebi absurb lagi karena kan semua orang kalo di pakein jas + baju rapi dah kayak orang kantoran tuw jatohnya hihihi
Semua sah-sah aja seh, karena kan masing-masing orang punya preference ya, sama aja kayak milih baju pasti punya selera yang beda-beda.

Tapi basic qualification pastinya kayak gini: baik, setia, jujur, pengertian, nggak sombong jagoan lagi pula pintar (lhoo ini mah Mas Boy dong hihihi) dan sayang sama gw, bisa masuk ke lingkungan temen-temen gw dan juga keluarga, bisa ngejamin hidup gw 7 turunan (lhoo...) Yaahh itu mah semua orang juga pengen lah, tapi kan kalo ditanya spesifikasinya ya harus lebih dari ini dong..

Nah, for me.. Agak susah untuk jawab tipe cowo yang disuka kayak gmana, karena yang pasti harus ketemu dan ngobrol dulu, kalo nyambung dan ada chemistry baru deh liat kemana arahnya.

Put it this way, how do you know that food is taste good if you don't try it? Yang penting kan dicoba dulu kalo nggak suka atau nggak sesuai selera ya bisa brenti makannya or kalo masih acceptable ya lanjut lah, kali aja nanti kita juga bisa suka.. Jadi intinya adalah proses itu penting. Bener gak?

Monday, August 07, 2006

Leo it is...

Outgoing personality..
Takes risks.
Feeds on attention.
No self-control.
Kind hearted.
Loud and boisterous.
VERY revengeful.
Easy to get along with and talk to.
Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude.
Likes talking and singing.
Loves music.
Easily distracted.
Hates not being trusted.
BIG imagination.
Loves to be loved.
Hates studying.
In need of "that someone".
Longs for freedom.
Rebellious when withheld or restricted.
Lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
Always a suspect.
"charming" or "beautiful" to everyone.
Strong willed.
A fighter.

That'a what I am of being a Leo :)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Simple thought

Which one is the worst?

Miss being loved by someone?


Miss someone?

Being a Leo, i would say miss being loved by someone is the worst feeling than you miss someone himself coz the feeling is absurb and abstract.

If you miss someone, you just go and meet them and whalaa... you will feel better. But if you miss being loved by someone, then it would be difficult to cure coz the feeling is beyond that missing feeling it self...

Or miss being loved is same thing as being loneliness?

It's not a simple thought ya, it's complicated one for me :) Or.. the thought is only a state of mind?

Friday, July 28, 2006

Mr. X vs Me

Mr. X : Muuaaahh
Me : Kiss kiss

Me : Hey u, how are you doin?
Mr. X : busy busy busy, I'm in BKK

Mr. X : I'm going to Russia to shoot next week
Me : Wow that's cool!

Mr. X : How are you?
Me : I'm okay, just got back from Bali.. Got tanned ;)
Mr. X : I wanna see!
Me : you will he he

Me : finished work in Vietnam?
Mr. X : TC today, in BKK. Haven't got chance to eat today
Mr. X : I will get skinny... :(

Me : Hey, don't get too skinny, i don't like it!
Mr. X : I won't
Mr. X : Got to go, chat more later
Mr. X : I'll show you the Vietnam work once it finished.

That was my last conversation with Mr. X and haven't got any more news after that, nothing special in this conversation tho....
But, somehow he always managed to update me on what ever he's up to, just like when he's thinking to move here, when he's done the final negotiation with apartment tenant and when he found a cool car to buy.

No expectation, just let it flows... Anyhow, he makes my life more colorful tho.. :)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

David in Bali (7 - 9 July 2006)

We have a blast in Bali, but still not enough for me... I want to stay there longer, just relax, chilin' and laying on the beach get tanned and the most fun of all is no work at all.... Next time should stay longer, 1 full week would be great.... dreaming.....

Monday, July 03, 2006

Another thought

"You love someone with your heart & mind, not with your presence"

Hmm.. Is it enough only with heart & mind without presence at all? It's like you know deep down there you have someone that loves you very much, but what's the point of having that if we can not have the moment with them to cherish your love?

I believe, if you are brave enough to say that you love someone then you have to be ready for any circumstances & consequences, am i rite?

Which one would you choose, the love or the presence?

For me, love without presence is like having only 1 foot, and you need 2 foots to be able to walk properly. The combination of love and presence make everything perfect and on the right track. I want to have it all at the same time, his love and his presence is important for me.
Love is like a plant, you need to pour it with water & manure everyday in order to make it grows strong unles it will die, so does love.. you have to pour it with attention, caring and great moments together so your love will grow strongly.

I also believe that life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away, one of the moments that take our breath away could be one of the moments with our loved one :)

Friday, June 16, 2006

Alkohol yang berbicara....

Justifikasi yang paling sering di pake untuk mendefense kejadian-kejadian yang terjadi during and after clubbing, dan seolah-olah membenarkan whatever happened :)

Is it the alter ego Oom Jack Daniels or emang udah ada bakat untuk doing it? Tergantung orangnya masing-masing juga kali yaa.. But maybe emang bener kadar alkohol dalam darah jadi booster untuk bisa doing such thing, jadi lebih berani, lebih confident, lebih cuek juga sama lingkungan sekitar (toh yang lain juga ngga ada yang ngurusin, just mind ur own business lah ya) dan juga hati nurani yang udah di teken dalem-dalem sedalem2nya yang baru akan muncul lagi the other day :)

One night stand juga sering terjadi karena faktor yang ini, gairah memuncak dengan sendirinya apalagi pas ngeliat target yang pas, berani dan pede karena alkohol jadinya maju terus pantang mundur... One night stand just only for the sake of pemuasan nafsu sesaat yang di tunggangi oleh alkohol, then besokannya nyesel karena partner nggak as good as you see that night (duh penglihatan alkohol ngga bisa dipercaya banget deh). Or tiba-tiba besokannya ada yang telp bilang bla bla bla semalem kita kenalan dan tukeran no telp, tapi sumpah mampus kita nggak inget kejadian itu boro-boro mau inget orangnya yang mana he he

Intinya adalah self control and you have to know when to stop, better cuma tipsy aja jangan sampe drunk karena kita bisa menikmati keriaan sekitar dan juga masih punya kontrol... Tapi kalo sekedar tukeran no telp aja nggak papa seh, who knows ternyata dia adalah jodoh kita, toh jodoh bisa ada dimana aja dan kapan aja :)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Be ready....

You never know when it finally comes, you can not predict time, you can not predict place and you even can not predict on how it finally link to you...

Saw Rexona spot last nite, the message is to be ready for any circumstances coz it might come at the most unpredictable time. The girl is chasing her purse that lead her to a good looking guy, but since she's not apply the product she got sweat spot at her blouse right at the underarm spot ouch!.., It's nice tho.. and very insightful (at least for me)

One of my girlfriend always dress up nicely, make up properly never show of bad hair day no matter where we go, eventhough we're only hang out at friend's house. When i asked her why she always dress up nicely, do make up and hair do properly everytime we hang out, she gave me an answer that really strike me. She said, your soulmate can be everywhere and anywhere, you never know when he comes, he just there and i want to be ready for that moment..I don't want him to see me in a mess. Nice thought eh.. :)

So, here i am... trying to always look good everywhere i go, no matter if i have mood swing that day or i have no time to dress up or even have a bad hair day. Looks good not necessary have to do full make up tho, just put everything right together and still reflect your personality can be a well done job. Just feel good bout your self then i believe everyone will see that too. I do it not just because i want to be ready for that moment when eventually i meet my soulmate to be, i do it for my self coz i want to feel good bout my self more rather than i do it for someone else. Then if that moment finally come, it will be a plus point for me tho, don't you think so? ;)

So, girl... Be ready.. Dress up nicely, prepare your self for anything might happen to you today. No harm to look good for your self and for someone else :)

Monday, June 12, 2006

Apakah kalian bahagia?

Pertanyaan dari Ceceu Wenni di blognya...

Simple question benernya tapi kok sulit ya jawabnya... karena harus dipikirkan dengan seksama :)

Bener kita (cukup) bahagia dengan keadaan sekarang? Bahagia dengan semua achievement kita? Kita akan bahagia kalau udah bisa mencapai posisi tertentu dalam kerja? Kita akan bahagia kalau udah menemukan tambatan hati dan berumah tangga? Atau... Kita akan bahagia dengan kondisi-kondisi tertentu... Semua butuh pemikiran yang dalam untuk bisa menjawab dengan jujur :)

Apakah semua itu berhubungan dengan bertambahnya usia? Atau karena dengan bertambahnya usia mau nggak mau kita jadi berfikir lebih dalam lagi tentang hidup dan kehidupan?
Hari ini seorang teman berulang tahun yang ke 30, she wants to keep it silent dan satu kantor ngga ada yang tau (I got Ben & Jerry's ice cream to shut my mouth wuuhuu....) Walopun agak aneh and if i were her i would inform people to get prizes hehe....

Why she keep it silence? Karena dia ngerasa tua dan dia ngerasa kok idupnya gini-gini aja, gak ada achievement yang significant. Walopun dia udah bersuami tapi masih blum ada anak, masih tinggal sama ortu, karir juga ngga naik2... she doesn't feel passionate about her work but she also doesn't know things that make her passionate (confuse eh..).
She feels clueless bout her life...

Ternyata semua orang punya masalah yang similar, walopun nggak bisa dibilang sama.. Dan ternyata bersuami juga tidak menyelesaikan masalah, malah mungkin menimbulkan masalah baru (bagi yang bermasalah).... :)
She said I should be proud of my self karena karirku cukup bagus (alhamdulilah) and i'm passionate bout my job (well, i believe that you have to put your heart in whatever your job is, just love your work). Itu semua kasat mata yang keliatan, tapi who knows what's goin on underneath...

Apakah aku bahagia dengan semua itu?

Pertanyaan yang gampang tapi susah untuk dijawab :)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Lonely is a state of mind?

Have you ever feel soo lonely even though you are in the middle of the crowd?

I felt it and i don't like the feeling, it's really sucks. Tried to figure out why i felt this way, coz i shouldn't feel it. I have best friends around me, they can always put back the smile in my face, I have works that occupied my mind throughout the day, i have other activities like going to the gym and hang out with friends but somehow i still feel that deep down in my heart there's an empty space that longing to be fulfiled.

Does it because i simple bore with the routine of my life?
Does it because i live alone without my family? Yeah i missed them too
Does it because i don't have someone to share stories of what i've been doing today?
Does it because i just miss to have a boyfriend?
Does it because i simple need to be loved by someone?

Sometimes i don't feel like going home early after work coz i don't like the feeling when only find dark and empty room, sigh...

Sometimes i imagine that i would feel good falling asleep in someone's arm hugging me, and when i open my eyes he still there looking at me with his full of love's eye.. hmm.. i think i dream too much ya :)

Still don't know if lonely is only a state of my mind? or is it a real feeling? or i feel lonely coz i simple need to be love?

Whatever it is, I guess what i feel is still normal & human, as human being we do have certain needs that only can fulfil by certain person :)