Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Love oh love...

In one occasion a friend of mine told me once that she was involved with this guy long time ago, and the guy told her that he loves her but he's not in love with her.

That even make me confused... How can a person love someone without being in love with him/her?

Another case, she broke up her 2.5 years relationship because she didn't fall in love for him. She cares about him, but not in love with him. Even though the guy loves her so much. And she told me that she wants to be in love with a person not being loved.

Ah another term, in love and being love.

An old friend of mine was confused to choose between 2 men. She's in love with A but she married B instead because she says she loves being loved by B, and their baby boy almost 1 years old now.

One told me that she prefer being loved by her partner although she's not in love with him. She says if her partner is in love with her it's guarantee that he won't cheat on her (?)

I guess, I'm not an expert on this L thingy but one thing I know I want to be in love, to love and being loved by my partner.

Because I believe there should be take and give in a relationship, you can't just take all the time or give all the way... Compatibility is important.

If only love is that simple.

Feel free to drop me a line if you have other thought on this subject.


Melly said...

I definately want to be loved, in love and being in love all years long heheheheh but I have few girlfriends mainly once told me that they prefer to marry with the man who is madly in love with them so the girls will always be on the top. Well,there is no right and wrong.

Follow your heart & instinct.

Jennifer said...


You are a wise girl!! I love what you said at the end of your post about love... "I guess I'm not an expert on the L thing, but one thing I know I want to be IN LOVE, TO LOVE and BEING LOVED by my partner." That is all so true. And you need every single one of those things in order to make it work.
I think loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things. Both wonderful, but still worlds apart.
This was a great post!! :)
I wish you lots of love and happiness and finding that one person who makes you be in love, feel loved and able to love and know that they are in love with you too!!
love isn't always simple but sometimes it is. :) Everything takes work. ;)
Hugs, Jenn

Jennifer said...


lets try this again. I typed you a long comment, but something happened to it. sorry.
Anyway... you are a very smart girl! you said it best when you said you want to have it all in a relationship... to be in love, to love and being loved! You need all of them to make it work. ;)
Love isn't always simple, but every GREAT thing takes work!! :)
I wish you lots of love... and being in love and able to love and being loved too!
Hugs, Jenn

Momisodes said...

Very interesting post. I can relate to the first part. there have been a few men in my past that I loved but wasn't in love with anymore. Over time I grew to love them as friends and not as someone I wanted to spend my life with intimately.

As for being in love and being loved....Most people strive for having both, but it's not always possible. Marrying someone to be loved is always safer I suppose.

great post!

Anonymous said...

Dear Ecky,
On reflection the only thing I can come up with is this..."I love my sister, but I'm in love with Fav Girl" There is a difference. Plus we have to remember that love is a very complex thing. Time can create love or destroy it, I can't explain why, most likely the people involved. Settling on second best is a disaster waiting to happen. If you don't return love to your partner, they will tirer of it and seek it elsewhere, as everyone needs to be loved.
Just my thoughts, some from experience others from observations.
Let me know if you ever master love.

Anonymous said...

Take it from me-love is a slippery slope. So be prepared for some bumps and bruises !! :-)

Anonymous said...

I have loved a woman and was not "in love" with her. It can and does happen. That being said, I have seen it used as an excuse to end relationships.

Therry said...

From what I learnt, when you love someone but not in love with him, it means that the love comes from either feeling pity, or being used to be with the same person, that you eventually grow to love him. However, loving that person doesn't change your life in a significant way, because there is still a part of you that feels hollow. There might not be anything particularly wrong with him, or he might even be perfect in every way, but the emptiness is still there and you cannot, however much you try, feel 100% happy and loved.

As for being in love ...

When you meet him, you feel like you've known him for a long time, even though you probably only spend a few precious hours with him.

When you're with him, you don't have to do anything to make him love you, because he loves you for just being you, not because of your looks or your attributes.

When you think of him, it makes you feel blessed and thankful to God for creating the person that is your other half.

Well... that's only my two cents :)